We Say Good Bye to Mom

Today we lost mom. She passed away a little before noon after a very short episode of a breathing/oxygen problem probably due to her more recent lack of ability to swallow properly. She most likely aspirated something a few ago and it was finally too much for her body to handle. Granted, mom has been passing away a little at a time for several years now but the actual fact that she is gone is still too raw to think about. As you know if you are a reader, for three plus years my sister and I have been trying valiantly to keep mom alive yet comfortable and as happy as she can be with Alzheimer's disease. It was never our plan to keep her alive with tubes and artificial means. We stayed true to that plan and just maintained her health the best we could naturally. We always said to each other, "As long as she is alive, we will do our best to keep her comfortable and try to bring her some happiness in her remaining years."



The last few years have been very hard for mom yet she never complained and remained her so sweet self to the end. The interesting (to me) thing is that she never expressed a desire to die no matter how awful her life had become. At least it looked awful to anyone looking in from the outside. Apparently, the will to live is very, very strong and she persevered and fought to stay alive until her body finally could no longer do so.

Mom was a great talker before the Alzheimer's. She was the custodian of our family history and had stories for every member of the family. A great reader, she often would quote something she had read, saying, "I read an article..." and then would tell us all about it. Ironically, her preamble to a story would be, "I'll always remember", or "I'll never forget". Tragically, she could no longer remember anything and she did indeed forget everything about her prior life. At the beginning of the disease she could remember her past but not the immediate present. At the end she could remember nothing of her past or the present. It was as though she hadn't lived 93 and one-half years. She couldn't remember a single thing about what she had done, where she had gone, or who people were. Except for her family. We are fortunate that she always, always remembered her family, especially her beloved husband. So, while she was a dominant force in our lives, I guess we were an integral part of hers as this horrible disease could not erase us from her mind.



Mom was a very special person and the whole family will miss her greatly. She had a long and happy life with a wonderful marriage, three loving children and their spouses, five grandchildren, and ten great-grandchildren. Each family member has said what a great influence she had on their lives. She remained connected to every generation and was a great source of strength when it was most needed. She is finally at peace as we should be with the knowledge that she went gently to the other side. She suffered the loss of her memory and part of her essence with the disease that steals the mind. Through it all she was true to form...a wonderful, loving person, generous, kind and sweet. I'm proud of the person she was and honored to be her daughter. It was a privilege to help smooth the way for her on the bumpy road of Alzheimer's disease.