Thanks for Your Kindness

It's been five days since mom passed away. I'm beginning to get used to the idea. I'm unsure how I'll feel when I return to Florida after this four-month stay in New Jersey. Here, I am so far removed from the scene where my sister and I spent time with our mother on a daily basis that it seems almost surreal. The wonderful thing is how my friends and family have responded with so many phone calls and the wonder of instant e-mail. Not that I won't treasure a sympathy card if I get one...believe me, I will. That will be something I can touch and hold and know the sender spent time selecting and sending. But right now is when I'm hurting and e-mail is so now, so in the moment. At first I thought it seemed impersonal but then I realized that most of my friends have no idea where I am in New Jersey with no way to contact me. They reached out to me in the quickest way they could. It means so much to have friends and family surround you (even though not physically) when you are hurting. No matter whether it is a call, e-mail, card, or comment at the end of my blogs, the fact that anyone cares enough to connect is what matters most. My daughter has called daily to make sure I'm o.k. and to cheer me up with stories about my beloved grandchildren. Our son has text-messaged and called, my sister and brother call often to commiserate. My husband is my rock and most constant supporter who is always within reach for a pat or chat or hug or a source of distraction from my sadness. Each night he provides me with chocolate or tonight a java chip ice cream sundae with hot fudge and whipped cream. Comforting for sure. I could not have made it through these three years without my sister, Carolyn, who walked with me each step of the way. Together we formed a bond that no one can undo. We struggled with the administrators of the nursing home, we struggled with the nurses and cna's to try and get them to do the smallest of things necessary to mom's care. We cried together and we laughed together. The biggest of all thanks to my sister.

A big thank you to everyone who has expressed their concern. It really means more than you could imagine.

Really, I must stop feeling sorry for myself and my loss. I had my mother for 93-1/2 years... way longer than many people have their mother. And, we had a wonderful relationship. I can "always remember and never forget" not only that she loved me but also that she was a treasure to all who knew her.