Tie Score

I purposely arrived a little later today to spend more time with mom after lunch rather than during. As I entered the dining room, I saw that the CNA was feeding mom and she was almost finished with her lunch. I had never seen this CNA before and asked her where mom's glasses were. She was surprised and said, she supposed in her room. I thought she said she didn't have mom today and didn't know her. I retrieved mom's glasses and while putting them on her face noticed her hearing aid wasn't in her ear. I said, "Her hearing aid isn't in her ear. Who is her CNA today?" She said she was. Apparently, I didn't hear her correctly the first time when she must have said that she had mom but didn't know her. I got the hearing aid from the nurse who had it locked in her medication cart and asked her if there wasn't a chart or something the new CNA's should be checking to see what their residents' requirements are. She tut-tutted and agreed that it is a sad state of affairs, and that she would mention it to somebody in charge that the CNA's should do a better job.

I decided to keep a tally of points regarding care. Minus two for the lack of glasses and hearing aid. Plus one because the chair alarm was turned on. I asked the CNA if mom's eyes had been shut during the whole meal. She said, "Yes, I think she needs to have a wet cloth put on them as they are stuck shut." Minus at least one point. Not only had she noticed it earlier, she didn't remedy it. She relayed how she mashed up the hard, tough vegetables and meat and made a softer, more moist meal for mom to eat. Plus one. I then noticed that the brand new small pillow I had purchased yesterday was missing. It was supposed to be behind her head. I asked the CNA and she immediately knew where it was. She had put it under the other two pillows which hold up mom's legs so she wouldn't slip down off the chair. One point for creativity. Much later, when she put mom in bed for her nap, she didn't brush mom's teeth with the new dentist-prescribed paste. Didn't even mention it but as she hadn't looked at the chart, she wouldn't know that. Minus 2 points because it is a key health issue. She made sure that mom's head was raised up because she had noticed that mom has trouble swallowing and sometimes coughs or gags. Plus two points because that is another key to her health. Adding them up made it a tie score. While I would like it to be 100% correct, it just isn't going to happen. It has been a hard realization but I have to give in at some point or drive myself crazy trying to make it perfect. Maybe my teeth grinding will cease if I let my perfectionism go.

In mom's room I put on some beautiful music. First I soaked her eyes to remove the stuck on stuff so she could open her eyes. Then I gave her a mini-facial with a skin exfoliate and moisturizer I had brought from home. Rubbed A&D ointment on her legs and feet and exercised her legs a little. I finished up with a good head rub and she was sleeping in her chair. When I bent to kiss and tell her goodbye she woke up and said she wanted to go with me. She was quite adamant so I told her I would stay awhile longer. Then the CNA came in and put her in bed for her nap. She was still awake so I had to soothe her to sleep with more head massage. Since I am going out of town in a few days for many weeks, it's becoming more difficult for me to leave mom. I know she will be in my sister's competent hands and she, like I, does the best she can. I just wish we didn't have to compensate for the lack of care from the CNA's and the details they overlook. In my perfect world, people would do things perfectly. Sigh.