When I arrived at the parking lot of the emergency room, my sister was waiting for me. The ambulance had not yet arrived. We began saying things like, "Well, I guess this is it. Mom is finally at peace. At least we got to tell her we love her the last time we saw her." We shared the Kleenex and teared up as the ambulance approached. There were no sirens and no sense of urgency. As the EMT opened the back door of the ambulance there was silence at first. Then my sister said, "Is that mom's voice?" Mom was moaning her usual, "Oh, Lord, help me." She was still alive. We had conflicting emotions. We had previously wished for her to be out of her misery and yet were so happy she was still alive. I guess one is never truly ready for their mother to be gone.
The emergency room ran the usual blood tests and hooked her up to various machines to monitor her heart and blood pressure. Took a chest x-ray, EKG, put in a temporary catheter to obtain some urine to check for a UTI, gave her a Xanax to calm her down, and had us wait with mom for a few hours before finally admitting her. Meanwhile, mom was sneezing her head off. We thought perhaps she was allergic to latex or the oxygen tube they had in her nose. Her nose ran like a faucet and was red and raw. Turns out she must have caught my cold. How cruel is that?
I have more to say on the hospital visit but that will have to wait. Right now I'm going to bed and trying once again to get rid of my cold.
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ReplyDeleteThat was really a strange event. I was experiencing a happening that didn't happen. I had all the emotions that I would feel had she died. Now I know exactly how I will feel when she dies. I am too tired now to write more because of the long day at the hospital and the transfer to the home, but as usual I enjoy your writing and it makes me cry.
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