Grateful

After an unbelievably difficult day today and three horrendous days before that, I am surprisingly grateful for a few things. I may have enormous troubles with mom but I have a wonderful supportive family to help me through this period. There is no way I could be the only caregiver for mom. It's too much for two people, let alone one. My sister is the other half of the team. We try to share the time spent with mom to lighten the burden. There are days, such as today, when it would be impossible to handle this situation alone. I'm truly grateful I'm not an only child.

Just got home from a quick dinner out with my dear husband who listened to me tell all about the horrors of today with mom. He didn't try to "fix" anything because it can't really be fixed. He listened, comforted, and occasionally changed the subject to try and get me to relax. I'm grateful I married such a kind man.

I'm grateful I have two wonderful children. Last night my son called and we had a great chat. He was concerned about my bad cold and how I was dealing with the stress I was under caring for his grandma. He also made me laugh and entertained me at length. Today his several e-mails asking for various recipes gave me something to do while recovering from my cold. Then today my daughter called with a dinner recipe question and we also had a nice conversation. Later tonight she sent some pictures and several videos of my three year-old grandson running around with his sunglasses on in his "Super Ben" cape and also videos of my three month-old grandson giving some great grins. I was smiling through my tears looking at my adorable grandchildren and thinking about the cycle of life. The children have full, happy lives ahead of them while my mother is nearing the end of hers. The old live their lives to the fullest and pass on and the young take over the living. This is the way it is meant to be. For the old it's the suffering in between the living and the very end that is so difficult to understand. There ought to be a better way to leave. I'll be grateful when she is at peace.