A Challenging Day

Mom was not in the best of shape today. Sitting in front of the tv in her room she was pointing to the set and moaning, oh no, lord help me, oh no. I couldn't get her to calm down no matter what I did. I turned off the tv as she was upset about the people on there and what they were saying. I had hoped turning it off would solve the problem but she continued to wave at the bookcase where she has framed photographs and recently received birthday and Christmas cards. It is so difficult to determine what she is upset about. I thought she was pointing to a specific picture (which was her mother) so I told her that was her mother and not anything to worry about. She surprised me and said, "No, my mother is dead." Often she thinks her mother is either alive or me or my sister.

A change of scenery often works so I took her outside of the building for a wheelchair walk. Unfortunately, there were three gardeners blowing leaves and dust everywhere. I had forgotten to put the foot rests on the chair so she had to keep her feet raised which she can't do indefinitely. It was slow going. We got out of range of the dust and noise but then the sun went in and she got cold. Still moaning and "oh no'ing" about who knows what. After continually reassuring her that all of the family members were o.k., she said, "Well, I'm not o.k.."

I searched for conversation that would either draw her out, entertain her, or redirect her to a more pleasant place. As always, I discussed my golf game. After all, who else would listen? Then I made a mistake and asked her if she remembered playing golf with dad when they lived in Bradenton. I know better than to ask an Alzheimer's person if they remember something but it just slipped out. Sadly, she said, "That's the problem, I really can't remember if I ever played golf or not." Such a cruel disease.

Dinner was more successful. Many of her favorite's were on the plate so she ate heartily. She was concerned that she wasn't doing it right. I convinced her that she was eating just fine and that is how everyone eats their dinner. She continued to say, "No, oh no" and I finally asked her could she please stop moaning. She looked directly at me and said, "I thought I had stopped doing that." Finally, with much of my chatter about her grandchildren and great grandchildren, she calmed down and appeared to be "o.k.." Looking to leave on a good note, I quickly exited as she was enjoying her peach cobbler. Some days are harder than others but each day with her is still a gift.