My turn to visit mom today. Overall, she was in good spirits, not excessively worried about anything and very talkative. Most of what she said didn't make any sense so I struggled to keep the conversation going in a cheerful, upbeat manner. Sometimes agreeing with her that, "40% is better than none, and we should keep the same schedule because that over there doesn't have anything on it." I looked to where she was looking (directly at a small tree with no leaves) and tried to go with that idea. "Yes, I said, the tree has lost all of it's leaves." Of course I guessed wrong. When she absolutely insists that I give my opinion, I freeze because I'm not sure what we are talking about. I must be careful because she is such a worrier and I could be agreeing to something that would really frighten her. By the time I question her to try to figure out what she is trying to express, she has forgotten what it was and is off on another tangent. It's impossible to keep up. These conversational mysteries are easier to handle while she is eating because I can distract her by suggesting she take another bite.
As stressful as it is to try and untangle the thread of her thoughts, I remind myself that at least she is still capable of speaking. As the Alzheimer's disease progresses, her ability to form any words will diminish and finally stop. At least for now, I can hear her occasional laugh, hear her use my name, hear her voice. Maybe I should be content with that because some day I will have to try to remember what she sounded like.
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It's so sad. Good I guess that you have prepared yourself for what may come. Don't know how you do it. She is so lucky to have you. We all are.
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