Too Good to Forget

As mentioned before, I've been unhappy with the enrichment programs at the home where mom lives. I placed my call to the "powers that be" and received a return call explaining that they are in transition due to the two open positions, etc. More programs and borrowed personnel from another site were going to help out. While I noticed an increase in the daily pep, or exercise program, there really wasn't much of anything else added.

I had told mom that I would take her out for a ride in the car again soon, perhaps to get a strawberry shortcake. She was delighted at the prospect. Yesterday I called to be sure that mom wasn't being otherwise entertained so I could take her for the proposed ride. Cindy mentioned that there may be tram rides as it was on the calendar and one of the borrowed personnel had learned how to drive the tram. Mom loves the tram rides, almost more than she loves her children. I wasn't about to interfere with a potential tram ride so I postponed the strawberry shortcake trip and went over later in the day instead. I arrived at dinner time and spoke with several of the aides who reported no tram rides. In fact, no afternoon activity at all. I felt like I had really let mom down. Mind you, she certainly did not remember that I had discussed a car ride with a strawberry shortcake attached. She didn't even remember that I had been there the day before. In fact, she often doesn't even remember that we are right there, sitting by her side. Nevertheless, I felt an obligation and a duty to try to give her a little happiness. I was certainly disappointed in the system and a little disappointed in myself for believing that there would be a tram ride. How naive I was. A sad song on the radio had me in tears on the car ride home. My husband noticed and thought it was from my ever-lasting cold (which probably had put me in a delicate emotional condition). A hug and a good stiff cocktail put me back on track for the evening.

Strawberry season doesn't last forever and Goodson's Farm serves up some fabulous strawberry shortcake with optional ice cream or whipped cream. The home has a bus trip to the farm once a season but mom is never allowed to go because she is in the wheelchair. The injustice of it all really gets to me. More determined than ever I went directly to mom's today. I didn't bother to call for false information about other activities. I just went. Unfortunately for me my timing was off as mom was having a lovely nap when I arrived. She had been asleep for about 20 minutes according to the aide. I sat opposite her while writing in our journal, waiting for a decent amount of time to go by before waking her up. Finally I woke her up as I was afraid the farm would close before we got there. She was drowsy but happy to see me. The aide helped me transfer her to the toilet first so our ride wouldn't be interrupted. Another aide helped me transfer her to the car and off we went in search of a strawberry shortcake.

Mom said, "It's something every body thinks is the best thing there is." She was happy and eager for the promised treat. We enjoyed the country scenery, listened to that old Mitch Miller tape and sang along for the hundredth time. I brought the two enormous strawberry shortcake sundaes back to the car for us to eat. It was too windy outside and I had not brought along the wheelchair so the car was our dining area. It wasn't easy for one person to handle two huge sundaes but I did it. The wind blew away the straws for our water and almost tipped over the tray. It was quite a struggle against mother nature but I persevered. Not only did I want mom to enjoy her shortcake, I had missed my lunch so I was hungry for my sundae. I actually spoon fed her the whole thing because she just couldn't handle holding the paper bowl and spooning it in. It didn't matter. She loved it. "Delicious" , "Wonderful" ,"So good" were some of her comments. It is rewarding to make her happy, even if for a very short time. She tired quickly on the way home and made quite a few of her usual "Oh No" comments. I quickly reminded her over and over of the wonderful strawberry shortcake we had just consumed. Each time she heard the words she calmed down and told me how delicious it was. I wanted her to remember it, at least for a little while.