Once in, it's Hard to get out

It's been a few days since my last entry. I admit I've been a mess. This stupid cold and cough has me exhausted and the ups and downs with mom have me emotionally spent. Although we are past the hospital event, I should record what happened in the event of a future episode.

I was approached by a nurse who asked the name of mom's cardiologist. I told her there was none as mom's heart was fine. She suggested one and I went along with it. About an hour later Sis and I met with the cardiologist who said she thought mom's heart had simply stopped for a minute or two and that it was a common occurence of someone her age. She said it would likely happen again. She said we could have a pacemaker inserted in mom but she was of the opinion that we do nothing due to mom's Alzheimers's, lack of quality of life, and advanced age. Sis and I agreed that it would be in mom's best interests to let nature take it's course. Mom had indicated years ago that she did not want heroic measures taken and had specified a Do Not Resucitate order. In my naiviate I thought we were finished and mom would be discharged shortly. Little did I know that once you are admitted to the hospital, you will be subjected to a barrage of unending tests until you and the doctor in charge of the case come to an agreement.

Much later that afternoon the technician came in to take another blood sample. I questioned what it was for and was told it was one of three tests to rule out a heart attack. I told her the cardiologist definitely said there was not a heart attack and should be no need for further testing. The technician said she was following orders and proceeded to stick my poor mother once again. The nurse then showed me what mom's doctor had ordered. A laundry list of tests, a neurologist and his tests, blood work, cat scans, etc. At this point, we had not met with mom's doctor, nor had she been in to see her. It was now early evening and mom was resting comfortably so we went home.

The next day Sis informed me that they had put mom through various tests, transferring her from the bed to hard testing tables, etc. with mom screaming the whole time. Mom had pulled the wires out during the cat scan and they were determined to do it again and again until they got it right. Everything had gone haywire and out of control because we didn't know that we were in a position to be in control. It was the weekend so I called the doctor and got her answering service. I told him to tell her in no uncertain terms that we wanted all testing to stop immediately. When I arrived at the hospital a little later, the nurse told me that the doctor had stopped all the testing. Again I was naive. I thought they would discharge her after that but I was wrong. After speaking with a nurse about the situation, she informed me that I had to talk to mom's doctor and ask her for a discharge order. She got the doctor on the phone for me and we spoke at length. At first the doctor was defensive and said that by law and her oath she had to test mom until she had a diagnosis. I told her that my sister and I wanted mom to have peace for the remainder of her days and not be invaded and abused by tests that were unnecessary. We were not going to put her through any operations so there was no need to test and test to get a firm diagnosis of why mom passed out at the breakfast table. The doctor and I finally agreed that we were on the same page. She said, "I applaud you and your sister for your decision. I usually have to argue with relatives in cases like this and it is not in the best interests of the patient. You are doing the right thing." It was such a relief to hear. We decided on a discharge the following day after lunch. The doctor also suggested we put mom on hospice. She said this didn't mean that mom was going to die soon but that all heroic measures would be stopped. A hospice team would intervene and deal with the home where mom lives, inform them of our recent decisions and help with advice, visit mom, and provide a myriad of services.

Mom finally got discharged around 4:00 the next day. There were mixups with the ambulance transportation and other problems just to add to an already stressful situation. Even though we learned a lot from this experience and can probably handle it better in the future, we hope we won't be faced with it again. Hospitals are wonderful when you need them but not so good when you don't.