Today mom was out of bed and sitting in her wheelchair. The cna's did a good job of making her as comfortable as possible with pillows, soft heel protectors, and no knee abductor. I think they may be better at their job than the ones who work upstairs. The also were kind enough to tell me how they thought mom was doing, who fed her breakfast and lunch and how much she ate, the schedule for the antibiotic drops, etc. A nice change from the nurses station upstairs where I feel invisible.
I finally met mom's new primary physician. He wanted her medical background which I told him at length. He will order some lab work to see how she is doing overall. Then he went and studied mom's chart and history. I mentioned how we are concerned about getting mrsa ourselves, especially Carolyn since she has the challenged immune system. He said as long as we take the normal precautions of wearing gloves, washing our hands thoroughly and often, don't put our fingers in our eyes and don't kiss mom, we both should be fine. So I feel better. Now I won't have to ruin my clothes by washing them in hot water.
I played three cd's while visiting and chatting with mom. She really loves music. I brought in two gardenia's from our yard so we could enjoy their scent. Some days I search for things to talk about other than my golf game. I told her little snippets of conversations I've had recently with my kids, discussed the weather and finally said, "I wish I had something exciting to talk to you about." Mom said, "You don't need to do that, just be here with me." So, I sat next to her and let her hold my gloved hands until it was time for the transfer to her bed for a nap. Today was a satisfying day. Oh, and I got a 95 at golf so it was a really good day.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Enjoy Life's Pleasures While You Can
Today, Dave and I attended a neighborhood brunch planned by the social committee. For $8 each we had coffee, bagels, muffins, and the omelet of our choice. We met a few new people and reconnected with others we had not seen in a while. We played a few games and we laughed quite a bit.
Later, while waiting in line at the grocery store, I looked up and there was my sister right behind me in line. We chuckled and enjoyed the fact that after so many years of living in different states, we are now only a few miles apart and can run into each other at the grocery store. We went to the parking lot where Carolyn put her ice cream in her Styrofoam cooler (it was in the 80's today) and filled me in on her visit with mom. We commiserated with each other over the sad state of mom's condition. I can't imagine going through this caretaking-thing alone. To be able to share this experience with someone who is going through it with you is such a gift. While other family members and friends are concerned and caring, it's not the same as actually doing it with another person. We can validate each other's feelings and worries, and truly appreciate what the other has lived through.
The new (to us because of the room change) nurse had put the knee abductor between mom's legs while she was in the bed. We had stopped doing this after the visit to the surgeon several weeks ago but the records at the nursing home had not been changed. We commend the nurse for following the directions in the book, but are frustrated that the records had not been updated. Just the tip of the iceberg. The nurse said they were not going to get her up out of bed at all. Carolyn questioned if lying in bed for 10 days was a good idea, and especially thought the knee stabilizer should not be used if she is lying in bed all day and night. Mom has to be able to move a little! The nurse would check but that was it for any degree of satisfaction we were going to get with the nursing home today. Carolyn and I are both concerned about getting mrsa ourselves, especially since she has a challenged immune system and I cut my arm on mom's wheelchair the day before she was diagnosed. I've been trying to convince her to stay at home and I will do extra duty for a few days. She does more than enough in the summer when I am away.
On a brighter note, we are going up to Lakeland Wednesday to play golf with five other couples. They tell us it is hilly and has longer grass and is more like playing up north. Should be a great, if difficult golf, day. Thursday night we are going to Bradenton with friends for dinner and a play. There is always something fun going on here. In fact, one almost has to schedule a free night just to rest and recuperate.
Life is a series of ups and downs. Each and every one of us has challenges and trials to meet. It is finding pleasure, comfort, and joy in other people and activities that gets us through the tough times. I'm grateful that I live in Sun City Center which is filled with sunshine and other retired people who have similar interests. I'm grateful for friends who bring me laughter. I'm grateful for family who listen to and support me. I'm grateful for my mother for her cheerful attitude and loving nature. Every time I visit my mother she always, always, thanks me for coming to see her. She could, and should, be moaning and groaning about her fate but she just smiles and tries to show me her love and appreciation for spending time with her. We should all take a page out of her book. Cherish what you have while you still can: your health, your mobility, your mind, your ability to make your own decisions, your ability to speak and express yourself, your friendships, and your loved ones.
Later, while waiting in line at the grocery store, I looked up and there was my sister right behind me in line. We chuckled and enjoyed the fact that after so many years of living in different states, we are now only a few miles apart and can run into each other at the grocery store. We went to the parking lot where Carolyn put her ice cream in her Styrofoam cooler (it was in the 80's today) and filled me in on her visit with mom. We commiserated with each other over the sad state of mom's condition. I can't imagine going through this caretaking-thing alone. To be able to share this experience with someone who is going through it with you is such a gift. While other family members and friends are concerned and caring, it's not the same as actually doing it with another person. We can validate each other's feelings and worries, and truly appreciate what the other has lived through.
The new (to us because of the room change) nurse had put the knee abductor between mom's legs while she was in the bed. We had stopped doing this after the visit to the surgeon several weeks ago but the records at the nursing home had not been changed. We commend the nurse for following the directions in the book, but are frustrated that the records had not been updated. Just the tip of the iceberg. The nurse said they were not going to get her up out of bed at all. Carolyn questioned if lying in bed for 10 days was a good idea, and especially thought the knee stabilizer should not be used if she is lying in bed all day and night. Mom has to be able to move a little! The nurse would check but that was it for any degree of satisfaction we were going to get with the nursing home today. Carolyn and I are both concerned about getting mrsa ourselves, especially since she has a challenged immune system and I cut my arm on mom's wheelchair the day before she was diagnosed. I've been trying to convince her to stay at home and I will do extra duty for a few days. She does more than enough in the summer when I am away.
On a brighter note, we are going up to Lakeland Wednesday to play golf with five other couples. They tell us it is hilly and has longer grass and is more like playing up north. Should be a great, if difficult golf, day. Thursday night we are going to Bradenton with friends for dinner and a play. There is always something fun going on here. In fact, one almost has to schedule a free night just to rest and recuperate.
Life is a series of ups and downs. Each and every one of us has challenges and trials to meet. It is finding pleasure, comfort, and joy in other people and activities that gets us through the tough times. I'm grateful that I live in Sun City Center which is filled with sunshine and other retired people who have similar interests. I'm grateful for friends who bring me laughter. I'm grateful for family who listen to and support me. I'm grateful for my mother for her cheerful attitude and loving nature. Every time I visit my mother she always, always, thanks me for coming to see her. She could, and should, be moaning and groaning about her fate but she just smiles and tries to show me her love and appreciation for spending time with her. We should all take a page out of her book. Cherish what you have while you still can: your health, your mobility, your mind, your ability to make your own decisions, your ability to speak and express yourself, your friendships, and your loved ones.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Alzheimer's Caregivers Reward Themselves
As you may or may not know, mom's hip surgery of two years ago had to be redone a few months ago. With more unbelievable stories and information than I could put to paper, I wrote nothing. The whole event from discovering the cause of her pain, to the inept primary doctor, to the bumbling surgeon, to moving her into a nursing home, had me undone. I just had so much to talk about I didn't know where to begin. So, tonight I am jumping in and beginning with today. The ugly but fascinating details of the last two months will have to wait until another time when I can put it all together in a cohesive fashion.
Today we learned that mom has MRSA in her only good eye. The have her on an aggressive treatment of antibiotic eye drops every single hour for 24 hours followed by every four hours thereafter. This will last for seven days and they will then take another culture to see if it is gone. In the meantime, we moved mom to yet another room at the nursing home. Her third room-change since leaving the hospital. This time to isolation. I can't tell you how sad it is to think of my mother all alone for at least 8 - 10 days with just an occasional visit or check-in by a cna several times a day. She will take lots of naps and they will come in to feed her meals and my sister and I will continue to visit for a few hours each day. Still, it's hard to imagine. Perhaps it will not be as bad for her as it would be for an active person. I have to tell myself this or I will never get to sleep tonight.
My sister, husband and I treated ourselves to an emotional-break-reward dinner out tonight at a Japanese/Korean restaurant. Delicious sushi and other dishes which I cannot spell. Yum!
Today we learned that mom has MRSA in her only good eye. The have her on an aggressive treatment of antibiotic eye drops every single hour for 24 hours followed by every four hours thereafter. This will last for seven days and they will then take another culture to see if it is gone. In the meantime, we moved mom to yet another room at the nursing home. Her third room-change since leaving the hospital. This time to isolation. I can't tell you how sad it is to think of my mother all alone for at least 8 - 10 days with just an occasional visit or check-in by a cna several times a day. She will take lots of naps and they will come in to feed her meals and my sister and I will continue to visit for a few hours each day. Still, it's hard to imagine. Perhaps it will not be as bad for her as it would be for an active person. I have to tell myself this or I will never get to sleep tonight.
My sister, husband and I treated ourselves to an emotional-break-reward dinner out tonight at a Japanese/Korean restaurant. Delicious sushi and other dishes which I cannot spell. Yum!
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