Good news or bad?

After the last hospital debacle, we put mom on Hospice to prevent the "home" from rushing her to the hospital every time something happens. So far this has been a good decision for mom but I'm not sure it is a good one for me. Every time Hope the Hospice nurse calls me, I'm sure she will be giving me bad news. I can feel my blood pressure rise and I hold my breath waiting to hear what she has to say. Yesterday the same thing happened. Hope went on and on inquiring about my health and I was wishing she would cut to the chase and tell me why she was calling. Was mom o.k.? Was she sick? Had she fallen? Had she passed away? Hope thought she was clear on our wishes for mom but wanted to be sure. They found mom on the floor with her head on the footrest of the chair. She had slipped out of her lounge chair. Meanwhile, I was on the verge of a stroke because I still didn't know if mom was o.k. Eventually, she said mom appeared to be fine other than a red mark on the back of her neck. Her blood pressure was a little high but there were no cuts or broken bones. Hope asked her if she had any pain and mom replied, "No, why would I"? Mom had completely forgotten that she had slipped onto the floor. This is one situation where a lack of memory is a good thing.

Mom seems to "take a licking and keep on ticking" but she may outlive me if Hope's phone calls continue.

Size Matters

Today was the fourth day of waiting for the Brighthouse repair person. I had feared the thin but tardy guy with the poor work ethic would show up but Tiny Tim showed up instead. Good thing, too, because I don't think I would have been polite to that other guy. As it was, this guy was also 30 minutes late. I was ready to demand another $20 off my bill but controlled myself and let my husband explain the phone problem once again. Tim was very doubtful that we would need to have a new line installed as that apparently only happens in very, very rare instances. He climbed up into the attic. He was so small I knew he would be able to fit through the rafters so I was optomistic. But then he came down from the attic so fast I was sure the huge mess up there frightened him. My husband asked if he agreed that we would need a new line. Somewhat proudly Tim said, "No, the line is fine. They just installed the wires backwards. I fixed it." Boy, was I ever glad I hadn't insulted this guy earlier. So now, knowing we had a genius in the house, I presented him with my sister's telephone problem. I even told him how one of the repair people had stuck his foot through her ceiling. He said he had heard that story. Tim thinks my sister has a bad splitter somewhere in the system. He said to request a small technician and she will probably get him. On the way out the door my husband told Tim that earlier he saw about five Brighthouse trucks up the street. Tim laughed and said, "Yeah, they are just making more mistakes I will have to correct later on". From now on I will be requesting tiny but mighty repair people.

Recipe of the Week

My son has requested a "recipe of the week" section of my blog. Here is a simple one for you to try:

Everyday Soup

Extra Virgin Olive Oil
2 onions, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 stalks celery, chopped
3 large carrots, chopped
1 can chicken broth
1 can stewed tomatoes
1 can cannelli beans, rinsed and drained
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1/2 teaspoon dried thymes leaves, rubbed between your fingers
A grind or two of black pepper

Heat the olive oil in a large pan. Add and onions and garlic and saute for a minute or two.

Add the rest of the ingredients and cook over low heat for about 15 minutes. The vegetables should be tender but somewhat firm.

Serve with whole wheat or whole grain bread and a salad.

This is a quick and easy recipe. If you live up north and are frequently stuck inside due to bad weather, it is wise to keep your cabinets and refrigerator stocked with these "everyday" items.

Excuses, Excuses

A quick update on the phone situation. The good news is that the phone technician arrived at our house today on time! The bad news is that the technician weighed 270 pounds and couldn't fit through the small opening in the attic rafters to reach the wires. He scheduled an appointment for next week and suggested they send the first guy who came to the house because he is thin. My husband said, "He told us he couldn't install new lines." The hefty guy said, "It was 7:00 at night and he probably wanted to get home." Well, it wouldn't have been 7:00 if he had arrived on time. So now we can look forward to a technician who is tardy with a poor work ethic. Verizon is beginning to look good no matter what it costs.

Doesn't Anybody Keep Promises?

A few months ago we changed over our phone service from Verizon to Brighthouse. This enabled us to save a few hundred dollars a year by bundling the cable television, high speed internet, and phone into one package. My sister warned me that she has had nothing but trouble with her phone service from Brighthouse. More money in our pockets meant we were willing to take the risk. Shortly thereafter, we had trouble with the internet service. They repaired it fairly quickly so we were still o.k. with our decision. For the last few weeks three of our four phones have had bad static and ended up not working at all. The remaining phone that works is located in the bedroom so we've been running a lot and missing calls. My husband did the usual thing of calling for repair, waiting on hold for a half hour and finally getting a repair appointment for the following week. Naturally, someone had to be home between the hours of 2:00 and 5:00. At 6:30 they showed up. No call, no apology. After a few trips up into the attic then back out to his truck while making several calls back to Brighthouse for advice, the technician decided there was a short in the line. He didn't "do" lines though and stood right in our kitchen and made another call into Brighthouse to set up the appointment for the following day for the lineman to come. This time it was between 11:00 and 2:00. Today, I called Brighthouse at 4:00 wondering where the repair person was. They informed me there was no appointment made for a repair today. We went back and forth for awhile before he put me on hold for 20 minutes listening to some terrible jazz music. Tomorrow they will supposedly come between 11:00 and 2:00. The support person told me they would give me a check for $20 because they were not on time for the first appointment. I asked what they would give me for not showing up at all for the second one. He said, "There wasn't any appointment." Finally, he gave in and promised a week of free phone service. I said I hoped it would begin after I had working phones. I just don't understand why they even bother to give you a time window if they don't honor it. It would be better to say they might show up if they feel like it. Then you wouldn't be so disappointed. People today are very lax with their promises. It's as though they were raised by wolves. I was raised to follow through and keep my word.

I was home all morning waiting for Brighthouse until 1:30. I left my husband home to finish the waiting while I ran over to visit mom. The schedule of activities at the home noted a sing along at 1:30. Music is the only thing left she enjoys so I wanted to be sure she attended. I called to be sure she wasn't in the middle of a permanent for her hair. They weren't going to start her for awhile so I suggested postponing the permanent until next week in order for her to go to the sing along. I raced over to get mom, telling her they would do the permanent next week and just wash her hair later today because we were going to go to a sing along. She was thrilled. We went across the street to the other building and there was no one there. No singer, no people gathered, nothing indicating a sing along. After questioning several people to no avail, we returned to mom's building where I took matters into my own hands. I found a few old-time cd's, put them in the cd player in the main living room and proceeded to sing to my mother for an hour. She sang along a little, smiled often, and we even did a little chair dancing. Edith, another resident, swayed to the music as well. It was a poor substitute for the promised sing along but it was better than nothing. I had told mom we were going to a sing along and I was going to give her one even if I had to do it all by myself. She gave us a wonderful childhood and always kept her promises. I never once remember her changing her mind or disappointing us by failing to keep a promise. The least I can do is try to compensate for the failed promises of the institution where she lives. I put a call in to headquarters and got the answering machine. I promise they will hear about my disappointment when they return my call.

Does Hillary Have a new Health Plan?

Last week was fairly busy in between visits to see mom. I went to the doctor who diagnosed me with bronchitis, gave me three prescriptions, and suggested my sister and I attend her lecture on Alzheimer's later in the week. I dropped off the prescriptions at the drugstore and stopped in to visit mom. Since she was napping, I returned to the drugstore to pick up my medicines. As the clerk shyly pushed the medicines across the counter she said, "You may not want one of these as it is really expensive." I thought, well, how bad can it be? After my insurance coverage the one drug was $99.11 for 10 pills! The other two were an additional $30. This doctor really wanted me to show up for her lecture, even if I couldn't afford the gasoline to get there. I returned to visit mom again and helped her to eat her lunch. Dragged myself to the hairdresser for a much needed fix up. Bronchitis or not, you have to look good to feel good.

And so the week continued with me dragging myself to play golf twice and going out to dinner. We had tickets to two different shows Thursday and Friday nights, one a dance and the other a comedy show. So, I dragged myself to those events. Friday was the doctor's lecture on Alzheimer's so my sister and I dutifully attended the somewhat tedious two and a half hour lecture. We didn't learn much if anything. Mom has had the disease for so long that we knew it all. We did discover a caregiver's group that meets every week and we may find that to be of help.

Yesterday I helped mom with her lunch and then decided she needed some fresh air. This was quite a sacrifice on my part because it was no simple task to get her ready. I removed the one sweater and put on a warmer one, bundled her up in her heavy winter coat, put the foot rests on the wheelchair, got her sunglasses and put a visor on her head. It was a sunny, beautiful day, a little on the cool side for Florida (around 70 degrees). About 50 yards down the street mom started whining. Every little bump in the sidewalk seemed to bother her. She was cold (I was in shorts and a shirt) so I pulled the hood of her coat up on her head. It was too breezy, too cold, too bumpy, and finally, too hot. I zipped and unzipped that coat about six times. Tried singing old-time songs which she joined in for a few bars but couldn't maintain. I determined she was tired and suggested she sleep in the chair on the way back to her place. I was hoping the gentle bumps would rock her to sleep much like an infant. She was more quiet but not asleep. I rang the door for admittance to the home. No one came. So, I pushed the wheelchair into the full sun, pulled mom's pantlegs up over her knees and gave her a good dose of vitamin D while we waited for the aid to answer the door. No one came for 20 minutes but mom had a great nap. Meanwhile, I sat on the bench and dozed on and off keeping one eye on her. She woke up saying, "It's too hot here." Some days you can't win.

As for my magic $10 pills, I have three to go. You can't really put a price on good health. Although next time I'm sick you can be sure I will check out the doctor's lecture schedule beforehand.

Once in, it's Hard to get out

It's been a few days since my last entry. I admit I've been a mess. This stupid cold and cough has me exhausted and the ups and downs with mom have me emotionally spent. Although we are past the hospital event, I should record what happened in the event of a future episode.

I was approached by a nurse who asked the name of mom's cardiologist. I told her there was none as mom's heart was fine. She suggested one and I went along with it. About an hour later Sis and I met with the cardiologist who said she thought mom's heart had simply stopped for a minute or two and that it was a common occurence of someone her age. She said it would likely happen again. She said we could have a pacemaker inserted in mom but she was of the opinion that we do nothing due to mom's Alzheimers's, lack of quality of life, and advanced age. Sis and I agreed that it would be in mom's best interests to let nature take it's course. Mom had indicated years ago that she did not want heroic measures taken and had specified a Do Not Resucitate order. In my naiviate I thought we were finished and mom would be discharged shortly. Little did I know that once you are admitted to the hospital, you will be subjected to a barrage of unending tests until you and the doctor in charge of the case come to an agreement.

Much later that afternoon the technician came in to take another blood sample. I questioned what it was for and was told it was one of three tests to rule out a heart attack. I told her the cardiologist definitely said there was not a heart attack and should be no need for further testing. The technician said she was following orders and proceeded to stick my poor mother once again. The nurse then showed me what mom's doctor had ordered. A laundry list of tests, a neurologist and his tests, blood work, cat scans, etc. At this point, we had not met with mom's doctor, nor had she been in to see her. It was now early evening and mom was resting comfortably so we went home.

The next day Sis informed me that they had put mom through various tests, transferring her from the bed to hard testing tables, etc. with mom screaming the whole time. Mom had pulled the wires out during the cat scan and they were determined to do it again and again until they got it right. Everything had gone haywire and out of control because we didn't know that we were in a position to be in control. It was the weekend so I called the doctor and got her answering service. I told him to tell her in no uncertain terms that we wanted all testing to stop immediately. When I arrived at the hospital a little later, the nurse told me that the doctor had stopped all the testing. Again I was naive. I thought they would discharge her after that but I was wrong. After speaking with a nurse about the situation, she informed me that I had to talk to mom's doctor and ask her for a discharge order. She got the doctor on the phone for me and we spoke at length. At first the doctor was defensive and said that by law and her oath she had to test mom until she had a diagnosis. I told her that my sister and I wanted mom to have peace for the remainder of her days and not be invaded and abused by tests that were unnecessary. We were not going to put her through any operations so there was no need to test and test to get a firm diagnosis of why mom passed out at the breakfast table. The doctor and I finally agreed that we were on the same page. She said, "I applaud you and your sister for your decision. I usually have to argue with relatives in cases like this and it is not in the best interests of the patient. You are doing the right thing." It was such a relief to hear. We decided on a discharge the following day after lunch. The doctor also suggested we put mom on hospice. She said this didn't mean that mom was going to die soon but that all heroic measures would be stopped. A hospice team would intervene and deal with the home where mom lives, inform them of our recent decisions and help with advice, visit mom, and provide a myriad of services.

Mom finally got discharged around 4:00 the next day. There were mixups with the ambulance transportation and other problems just to add to an already stressful situation. Even though we learned a lot from this experience and can probably handle it better in the future, we hope we won't be faced with it again. Hospitals are wonderful when you need them but not so good when you don't.